God has my future.

As of yesterday I had two different posts ready to go and I was debating between them, however God had other plans. I went for an evening run last night to clear my mind. I've been battling with a few things lately and it obviously built up enough that I felt like I was spinning out of control and amidst a lot of chaos. While I was out for my run last night, taking in the evening air and the hot sun, I had one of those moments where my mind went incredibly clear. The type of clear that you cannot think of anything else but to listen to your heart. I wanted to turn back around, run home and write this post however I had only just started and wanted to see this run through...who knows God could have continued to speak to me.

So what's been going on exactly. Well to put it lightly, my expectations are high...maybe a little too high. I've always had these expectations of my life that I would have the husband, a few kids running around and be in the best shape of my life. Needless to say God has had a different plan for my life. I always expected in my 20s that I would be married early and have a few kids by this point. I'm 33 now and none of this has happened. My season of waiting has been a long one! To add to it, I've had a struggle with my weight my whole life. I'm built like a female linebacker and have carried a decent amount of weight since I was a child. It gets to the point that I get the conversation from my doctor every year about all the issues that can happen when you reach a certain weight...it's always such a great conversation. So I've gotten back on the weight loss bandwagon and was pumped, motivated, excited to see what would happen...and then the first weigh in happened. The scale is not my friend! I did my weekly weigh in yesterday morning and that changed my mood drastically from happy go-lucky to one of frustration.

I'm the type of person when my frustrations bubble over you can tell. I show all my emotions on my face. So I let my frustrations take over how I was feeling and it took away from the experience I needed. It's the same with my season of waiting. We get frustrated when we have these high expectations for our lives and when one thing doesn't go our way we let our minds take over and control our emotions. We feel shame, regret, discouragement, fear, etc. I feel shame often when I try on clothes that don't fit me. I loose patience with my singleness when I see couples out and about and you spend time comparing yourselves thinking what do those women have that I don't? I get it...it's real and I feel that at least a couple times a week.

The upside is...we have a loving Savior who paid the ultimate price for us. He feels I'm worth it. He thinks I'm beautiful. He has the patience to allow me to run off the path only to allow me back on and continue the journey. He holds all my insecurities, my pain, my fear, my worries. He holds them and takes them so I can concentrate on the path I'm on. He lets us fall a million times over and over again just for us to remember to allow Him to have control over your life and your future. He wants us to enjoy the journey. Look at the sights, enjoy the scenery, enjoy your life! Don't spend so much time worrying about what your future might hold. Spend the time enjoying every moment, every second of every day! God has my future so I can focus on my present.

My favorite verse of all time (but can be overused from time to time) is Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV). "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." If you continue on to verse 13 it provides more of a promise that God is ALWAYS there and He's always listening. "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me with all your heart." He's there...He's ALWAYS there. He has everything worked out. We can get frustrated all we want when things are not meeting our expectations of what our lives should be or should have been. He has this miraculous plan for you and me. He has this plan that may take some time to come to fruition, but I can promise you one thing. If you allow God to work in you and through you, your future will be even more blessed than you could ever imagine.

(My other favorite verses are 2 Timothy 4-8, Joshua 1:9 and Ephesians 4:32. Check them out and let me know your favorite verses that help you through your season of waiting.)

It's not easy...it never is. At the end of my run yesterday I came across a mother deer and her two babies feeding in the forest by my home. I didn't even see them at first until I really looked at them. I stopped to take a few pictures of them and it made me realize, we can't see what's in our future but we can see what's in our present. Our current story is only a short story in God's big book for our lives. We are blessed as followers of Christ to be able to stumble, lose patience, and have frustration as many times as we do only to know that God loves us unconditionally and will always bring us back home.

I encourage you to allow God to work in you and through you. Spend time in His word. Find a system to study His word that works for you.