Uninvited - Dealing with Rejection

Have you ever felt less than, left out or lonely? Have you ever tried living loved when you feel the above? I have felt all of these things but I hav not live loved. What does it mean to live loved? How can we live loved?

Two weeks ago I had a moment. A moment where I felt completely left out, less than and lonely. I felt all three and did not know how to deal with it. I was not living loved and if anything I didn't want to deal with the situation at hand. I wanted to hide away, climb under the covers and just hope that the world would swallow me up. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to shut out everyone that cared about me and just be alone. I was not living loved.

I knew I needed to read something that could help me with my feelings. I needed to try to see if someone felt the same way as me and how they dealt with it. I needed encouragement and guidance. I grabbed a book that I had purchased about a year ago and the whole reason I grabbed this book was because of the small print on the front. "Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely." It was an impulse buy because I love the author and figured at that time it would be something to read that would give me topics to write on.

Little did I know that when I bought this book a year ago, God would step in and direct me to read this book at this time of my life. I know some may be skeptical about believing God directed me to this book, but believe me...when I share what I've read you'll believe it too that this was all a part of God's plan.

So I wanted to read this book. I cracked open the pages and began reading. What I started to see was the experiences of the author were eerily reflecting my feelings and emotions at this time. I'm going to share some of the most significant topics from the first chapter and there will be more posts about the remaining chapters...so stay tuned!

How do you deal with rejection? How does rejection make you feel? It makes you feel less than and not so loved, right? Rejections are like stealth bombs. They 'zing straight to our core, locating hurts from our pasts and makes them agonizingly present all over again'. When we feel the slightest rejection in our present, whether it's in a job, church, or relationship, we end up looking to past rejections to bring even more hurt closer to the surface.

How do we treat ourselves? When we have a rejection or an honest situation we don't want to deal with, how do we act? Do we tear ourselves down? We need to watch our words! We need to speak love to ourselves. We need to be aware of how we treat ourselves so that others can see us living loved. When something bad happens to me and I feel rejected or disappointed, I speak out loud to myself. I tear myself down due to my lack of responsibility, my lack of self-confidence, my lack of respect for myself. 'Negative self-talk was a rejection from my past that I had allowed to settle into the core of who I am. I talked about myself in ways I would never let another person'.

"Rejection isn't just an emotion we feel. It's a message that's sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God. We connect an event from today to something harsh someone once said. That person's line becomes a label. The label becomes the lie. And the lie becomes a liability in how we think about ourselves and interact in every future relationship." - Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst

I wanted to share on the idea above about the line, the label and the lie. I'm going to break it down as Lysa did in this book:

The line: I don't want you becomes the label you aren't accepted.

The label: You aren't accepted becomes the lie you aren't worthy.

The lie: You aren't worthy becomes a scrip of self-rejection. And it unleashes suspicion, doubt, hesitancy, and many other liabilities that hinder present relationships. We project the lines of rejection we heard from our past on others and hold them accountable for words they never said. And worst of all, we catch ourselves wondering if God secretly agrees with those who hurt us.

In our season of waiting we need to look at how we are to ourselves. Do we allow past rejections to dictate our present?

I encourage you to grab a copy of this book and read through it. I read a chapter or two every night or so and have made margin notes and added post its. If you grab a copy I encourage you to take notes. Put post its on your mirror, your wall, at work or in your car. Reminders to live loved regardless of the rejection you feel and remember that God loves you and will guide you through this period of rejection.

*Italic quotes are from chapter 1 of Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst