Uninvited - Trust Issues

"I have lived entirely too much of my life hesitant. I'm a ponderer, an analyzer, a girl who rearranges thoughts and things to be more orderly. I'd like for all life's events to line up with quite a bit of predictability so that I can sense my people and I are headed in the general direction of joy and peace.

I crave for life to make sense.

I cringe when it doesn't." Uninvited - Lysa TerKeurst

I wanted to start this post with the above quote because when I first read this it could and would have been something I had written in my journal or on this blog previously. I am someone who likes to have all my ducks in a row. I'm a creature of habit and want my life to be peaceful and full of joy.

To be honest...more often than not, it is not peaceful and never makes sense.

Since I like to make sure everything turns out correctly, I make a plan, organize it and explain to God, 'Here's the plan, trust me...it's really good. If you could just allow this and not change it, we'll be good.'

Now why in my right mind would I ever say that to God. Why would I give him an ultimatum that my plan is better than His, so just bless it and allow it...and we're all good. I'll keep following you and everything will be great!

This is just part of my underlying trust issues. I have trust issues with God (this post will deal with this primarily) and with friendships. Currently I have trust issues when it comes to making new relationships. Now I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I'm also talking about friendships. In the past I've had friendships burn me, break my heart and leave a large hole in my heart. When I meet new people now I'm more guarded than I need to be and more careful about who I allow in my circle. Life relationships are like loose threads (page 54 in the book...check it out!).

Now trust issues with God. It's easy to say, 'God I trust you. I trust you with my life, my desires and my dreams.'. I speak from experience and especially now. In the last couple months, I thought that I was trusting God. I thought that I was letting His plan unfold and not mine. I may have made a plan and given it to Him wanting Him to bless it and we're all good. Clearly I am in a testing phase.

God is testing my trust. He wants me to relinquish everything to Him.

"What we see will violate what we know unless what we know dictates what we see." Take for example an unknown hiking trail. You are going for a hike with some friends. You don't know the way but your one friend does. You are trusting your friend to ensure you leave this path in one piece and before dark. You friend seems to slow down and to you it seems as if they are lost but not telling you they're lost. Your trust begins to fade...but your friend knows the way out.

Your friend knew all along where to go. They may have been slowing down to look at something or check coordinates. Because you see them slowing and checking things you automatically go to the thought of 'we're lost in the forest. why did I trust them?'. Once we see the way out we realize we lost trust for no reason. The outcome was correct...you left the forest.

We're not the only ones who trembled and lost trust in God for a bit. King David...prime example. If you've read any of the Psalms you can see David's complete relationship with God written in the Psalms. Even though he trembled he always came back to God. Psalm 23 is a prime example. "With the fullness of God, we are free to let humans be humans-fickle and fragile and forgetful."

How many things have you thought offered more fullness than God and made room for it? We leak out fullness to make room for something else we want to chase, and here are some examples:

- It will happen if you chase a guy you think will make you more full.

- It will happen if you chase an opportunity you think will make you more full.

- It will happen if you chase some possession you think will make you more full.

- It will happen if you, like me, chase perfect order from an imperfect world, thinking it will make you more full.

"Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6

That is an unchanging truth that David wrote there. If we dwell in God and put ALL our trust in Him, His goodness and love will follow us. It will direct us, it will guide us. It's 'tragic when we chase something in this world, we're actually running away from the stable trust and secure love our souls long for the most. Out souls were created to be pursued and fulfilled by God's love and goodness. Other chases deplete us and erode out trust.'

This week I encourage you to look at how much are you trusting God. Take a look at things where you want Him to bless the situation, however you do not trust Him to make corrections or changes if needed. We need to have complete trust in God in order to begin having fullness of God.

*Quotes in purple from the book Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst

#uninvited #gracetobeloved #trust